I do not know where to start or where to end. I do not know how to express my feelings as the only girl living between five boys. I am a girl, and I have four brothers older than me and one who is ten years younger than me. My little brother has more freedom than me. I don't know how to explain exactly how I feel, but I feel that I am very oppressed. When I talk to my friends, I do not feel like they understand me. Each of them has sisters, so at least they do not feel the difference in treatment. I am alone and see my brothers have the freedom to choose their studies and leave the house. But if I go out with my friends, I have to get permission two days before. When I'm out, my mother calls me all the time, and I have a fixed time to leave and a fixed time to come home. For example, if I go out, I must not be back later than four o'clock in the evening because my parents believe it is a shame for girls to go out. It has been five years of my life since I did not go out at night with my friends. 

It is an injustice that my mother holds me responsible for my brothers and asks me why I do not clean up after them. When I ask her why she doesn't make them clean, she tells me they are boys and that I am a girl, so I must clean for them. I always feel pressured all the time. It's a strange feeling to want to hate my brothers, but at the same time, they are my family and they were raised like this. But it's a bad feeling when I see my mother praying for my brothers to be successful and for the Lord to bless them, and she never remembers my name. She and my father only talk about my brothers and how they must encourage them to travel and work in the field they choose, but my name is never mentioned. 

When my parents get a marriage or engagement certificate soon, I know my name will be first. If my father pressures me to get married, and I refuse, I fear he will deprive me of my mobile phone or from school. This is my last year in school, and I do not know what will happen next. 

I hope my parents allow me to live in peace without shame and rules. I am an ambitious human being, and I have many dreams, but my parents do not appreciate women with ambition, only women who can cook and clean.

Praise be to God, I am developing myself. I learn online and read books, although my parents are opposed to girls reading books. I try to do everything I can to improve myself. 

I hope one day I can live in a house alone.